Act II - Separated/Divorced Support 

February 2021 Update
 

To members of St. Michael Parish Heartache to Healing - Grief Support Group and Act II - Separated/Divorced Support Group:

 

My last message to you was Christmas Eve.  It's hard to believe already we're into February of a new year.  

As we know all too well, holidays can bring added heartbreak. Having to forgo traditional family gatherings due to Covid 19 and the restrictions that we must adhere to makes things even more challenging.  With Valentine's Day and also Family Day approaching, I thought an email of support is timely.  

 

For some, during these times of Covid-19, it may feel like a relief to be 'off the hook' in terms  of hosting or attending a large family gathering.  Or it may only magnify the loneliness you are feeling. Everyone’s reaction to this year’s holidays, will be unique .  All are normal. There is no right or wrong way to face the holidays and other special occasions when grieving the loss of a loved one - either due to death, or separation/divorce.

 

The anniversary of the death of your loved one, or separation/divorce is also likely to trigger feelings and emotions you thought you had worked through.  You may have made some significant progress in your experience of grief, but it is not uncommon for these special days to bring back the familiar feelings of loss and pain in full force.

 

In our sessions we talk about various coping tips.  As a reminder, I've listed a handful below.  Some may help, and others won’t. You choose what works for you.

 

1.  Make room for your feelings.  Acknowledge that this is a difficult time.  Talk to your friends and family to get the support you need.  Try to make a plan that gives you some control over what the day will hold.  

 

2.  If you're grieving the death of a loved one, celebrate a special day by taking time to do something in memory of the person:  lighting a special candle, planting a new plant, leaving flowers or a momentum at the cemetery, making a donation to their favorite charity, requesting a Mass Intention in remembrance of your loved one.

 

3.  Do something special for you.  Buy yourself some flowers, cook a favorite meal or order a meal in to enjoy.  Pamper yourself. Bop around the house listening to your favourite music.  Call someone who always has the ability to cheer you up. Attend daily Mass virtually, or simply pray.

 

4.  Do something special for someone else - a friend, neighbor, family member.  Even during these times there are many things we can do:  shovel snow, order dinner, or a phone call. 

 

5.  Take care of yourself - emotionally and physically. Try to get a little exercise in each day, such as a brisk walk.   Grief work is exhausting, you need plenty of rest each day in order to cope with the emotions of grief which are heightened during special days.

            

And remember, it's also ok to be happy at this time of year.  This doesn’t diminish how much you love and miss the person who has died, or the relationship that you once had.  Embrace it all:  the joy and the sorrow.

 

We look forward to the future when our Churches open up again and we have the approval to restart our Heartache to Healing Grief Support Group and our Act II Separated/Divorced Support Group. We will keep you informed along the way.  In the meantime if there is anything you need please don't hesitate to contact me, or St. Michael Parish directly.

 

You are most welcome to join us virtually for daily Mass.  More information and links to our St. Michael Parish YouTube Channel can be found here - https://www.stmichaelw.ca/live-stream-mass-schedule.

 

May our Lord bless you and give you peace.

 

Kathy